I’m sitting at the edge of the lake on a log. My mind and my heart are full. I slept well last night though when I moved I felt every muscle burn. Our crew started to wake around 7am. Laura and I’s tent is near the fire pit. Our gathering area and fire pit is surrounded by some amazing rocks and under some trees.
Last night we were up until 11pm talking. We had a great conversation about The Law of Giving. It turned into a conversation about how we ask for things from our Heavenly Father. I believe the Lord wants us to depend on Him. He wants to help us. We grow stronger through our reliance on Him. I have felt my Savior so strongly on this trek. He’s walked beside me and made my burden light. I see His light through the simple acts of my traveling companions. This experience is one that I will never forget.
The wind is chilly here next to the water, but the sun is bright overhead. The sky is a brilliant blue with only a few wispy clouds. There are mountains surrounding the lake and there are purple flowers in the tall grass. It’s an awe inspiring sight.
I’m so glad I brought my camera with me. It has helped me to have it here. I see the journey differently as I capture it and look for the story.
When I woke up this morning I turned on my iPhone for the first time. I wanted to see pictures of all of you. I had an inspiration! When I get back to St. George, I’m going to spend the night and rather than stay there the next day and leave for home in the evening, I’m going to go to Salt Lake early and visit with Josh!
I should be able to have a few hours with him and I want to see him. After this experience I just want to hug him and tell him I love him. And I want to talk about this trip. Plus that will help speed up time until I can see you again!
I went and put another layer on and I’m more comfortable now. I wish I had brought two pairs of pants rather than shorts. My legs are covered in bruises and scrapes. I would also love a small daypack. I’m out away from camp and I’d love to have something to carry stuff in rather than the top of my pack. Just things to think about.
I wonder what you and I would talk about if we were out here sitting on this log together. My soul is filling with peace and stillness. All the distractions of home seem so far away. Not distractions of home – but the distractions that are back home. All the noise, the internet, Facebook, news, shopping, etc. I’m ready for that to be less in our lives. Because here I am – on a log in the middle of Yosemite and the world continues to revolve without my participation.
This is what I thought the Big Blue Bus Tour would be. This is what I want for our family. I think we’ll have to take it slow and build up to what we want, but I would love to be sitting at this lake with all of you.
Okay – so one thing I want to change when I get home? No yelling! I need to learn to converse with the kids without raising my voice. We all deserve a more loving, patient, quiet home environment.
As I sit here and reflect on our children and our family, I am humbled by my weaknesses. I have so many. I am so flawed. I am so grateful to you and our children for loving me anyway. That is what I want our children to feel. That no matter what – I love them. Unconditionally. Do they know that? Do they fear the wrath of mom? Do they know how much I love them and how proud I am of them? I’m sad that I even question that. I shouldn’t wonder if my kids know that I love them!!
All the clouds have burned off in the sky. It is deep blue and so peaceful. I want to remember these moments. This is why you do the hard work to get out here. It’s because of moments like this. True deep introspection. True peace. Complete stillness.
I’m communing with God in my way. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me. I know He hears my prayers. I know He is infinitely aware of me and my needs. I know I don’t have to do it on my own. I want my children to be able to rely on their Heavenly Father. I want them to have a personal relationship with Him. I want them to know that The Lord hears and answers prayers. There is a plan and as the world changes and gets too big for its britches, I can rely that the Lord knows what to do.
I know that Jesus is my savior. Without a doubt I know that. I think I’ll read my scriptures for a while.
Later that day:
Shoot – I took off my watch. But I think its about 4:30pm. I’m back sitting on a log by the lake – but guess what?!! I just climbed a mountain!! A legit mountain climb. The same mountain I sat in the shadow of today!
Greg and Dan left around 6:30 this morning and climbed a bunk of peaks. These guys are crazy! But they came back and invited everyone to go back up with them.
Would you believe I said yes? I could have stayed back, done inventories, read a book, took a nap. No one would have cared. But instead I put on my boots and climbed with them! And it felt great. It was dang hard and I huffed and puffed, but – dude – I did it. Now I’m going to bathe my body in the lake. Or at least dip my feet. Though I’d really like to wash my hair!!
At the fire pit.
I swam in the lake and it was amazing. I washed my hair and cleaned my body and I feel like a new woman. We dryed ourselves on a rock in the sun and it was wonderful.
At the summit I took the foot picture like you told me to.We left around 12:15pm and were home at about 3:45pm. It was so incredible. I’m surprised I went. It was a tough climb and my legs are so sore.
Exhausted. Each day has been so full of activity. I’m finding an inner strength I honestly had no idea I had. Tonight we did Lake Meditation. I was surprised at how difficult it was for me to clear the thoughts from my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and the kids and going home, etc. Two more full days – then our final walk out of the wilderness! How are we at Day 6 tomorrow?!
Tonight there was some discussion about which route to take and if we’d take the easy route or the route up over a huge pass. Thankfully most people opted for the walk through the meadow. I don’t weigh in on those decisions. I will follow the group wherever they lead. But I’m glad they opted for the meadow. I was so relieved. My knees are killing me – its hard to walk.
It’s hard to write. My thoughts are everywhere. Probably because I’m sitting near the fire and we’re talking. It’s a fun group. Wish you were here. It’s almost dark. Just dusk and the fire is roaring.
Exhausted and in bed.
I’m amazed at what I can do! How did you know to send me out here?! You know what this kind of thing is like and yet you still thought I could do it! That amazes me. If I had any clue what this was going to be like – any clue – I would not have come. There was nothing in me that would have believed I could do this. Yet here I am. Not just doing this – but kicking butt!!
The hike today – I was like a ninja! I was so proud of myself. I chose that challenge and it was tough. Hiking up a mountain! Over boulders literally holding on with my fingertips! And I seriously did it! I had to stop often on serious assents, but STILL!!! I’m so stinking proud of myself.
On that note – I’m heading to bed. Love you!!